It's not yet to February and already my year is beautiful. Blessed. Fulfilling.
There's this guy I met awhile back. We used to workout together nearly daily. He was kind, funny, a great help to me in getting stronger and more fit. And he thought my gym baby was cute too.
We became friends- making each other laugh at inappropriate times, making fun of objects that weren't on the ceiling, and pushing one another to be better. He would tell me, later, that he loved when I would show up to class, that I brought a light.
Being a light is a way I'm frequently described- and it's a tremendous blessing to receive. I smile almost nonstop, I try to do unto others, and bring the laughter, of course. The thought of being a candle to someones darkness is one gift that led e to missions and nonprofit work. Lightness in the darkest of times, circumstances, and disasters servers others well.
So, back to this guy- his name is Peter and he's now my husband- he's my everything. God showed how much He loved me through introducing us. We always wanted to be together, we can talk for hours, or just sit together holding hands, valuing what we have. It was, very honestly, a love I had never felt, nor believed I deserved. When we were dating I kept asking him what his "catch" was- there had to be one, right? Men like this aren't real! I once even asked him if he was gay (not my proudest moment). He looked at me like I'd grown another head, and maybe I had in that moment.
Before we were officially dating, one of our longest conversations centered around dating, how neither of us were interested- too much BS, expectation, yada. So, obviously, we never saw anyone else after. He pursued me relentlessly- I had a bit of a commitment phobia. And finally, I began receiving his love. So, the two who never wanted to be married, and the one who never wanted children, got married-full package included.
And we went through some phenomenally tough times- my light went out. He never left my side. Still hasn't.
More recently, though, was the toughest of times. We nearly separated. Darkness.
Our marriage, however, has it's foundation on God. Neither of us wanted to be apart, but the struggles seemed to be getting too much. I talked to a couple of my closest friends, and my therapist. I talked to God nonstop, asking, knocking, begging to be shown the path back to Peter. I wrote a letter to him explaining that we were still the couple so many looked to. I don't just love him, I really like him, too! We've never had trust issues- we "get" one another to the fullest extent. We have had one BIG argument in six years. So...what the heck?
That letter served to break apart something deep inside. We went back to talking, being silly, being together. Being US. The light has returned- and it's brighter than ever.
I. AM. GRATEFUL.
Thank you, husband, for being my protector, my security, my laughter, the one who fights for me. There is no life without you. XO <3
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