What Other People Think About You is None of Your Business

OOOOOF!! Kinda like a kick in the gut, yeah? But, really, it's the truth.
From my own experience I can tell you all too often the words and opinions of others hold too much import in our thoughts and beliefs of self. Frequently to our detriment.
We are made to connect, to have community, to live life with others. It's human to want to be liked and needed-but not everyone is going to like us, or want us, or need us (and is they do, there's something amiss).
People are tricky- they're human after all. We are all guilty of thoughtless words, actions, behaviors, etc, because WE are human, after all.
However...
If you are like me, human things can quickly turn to poison. I absorbed these into the cracks of my brokenness, creating a toxicity in my being, my soul. Festering, spilling over into already open raw wounds.
When I began to believe what others (who knew little or nothing about me) said, my behavior and identity began to change. Scar tissue was yanked off, old haunts refreshed.
Rejection. Abandonment. Insecurity. The monsters we all have inside triggered fear and feelings of inadequacy. yuck.
We all have bits of monster in us- a monster who has a beautiful heart and longs to be accepted and loved. Inside every person a bit of monster lingers- fearful that if others see the ALL of us certain aspects will not be accepted. And as so often happens, that tiny part that is rejected builds into bitterness, leading to an ugliness inside and out.
I stopped responding in kindness, building walls that blocked the light of bravery. And because my face hides nothing, my true feelings were exposed-fear, hurt, bitterness. The truth is no one-not even me- wanted (wants) to take that weight on. In trying to protect myself, I succeeded in repelling many people. This, in turn, began an exhausting cycle of believing lies about myself.
There's a song I love that expresses this much better. A line I relate to is this: "If I could let go, then I could change the world, but I can't stop always tearing myself down."(Blue October- Break Ground)     The most exhausting, destructive cycle. Top this with illness, a strong body breaking down, becoming bedridden...ugh
This truth remains:

And I live a life surrounded by these people. People who KNOW me, and love me anyway. They've seen the monster inside- me and themselves- and choose to love it, and me, and themselves. And they stay- with me, beside me- some since elementary school. How spectacular?!?!?!
I am grateful, beautiful, strong, loved, wanted, accepted. By them. By me.
Through it all, this guy wanted forever- with ME: 

                                                                                             

You are beautiful, worthy of love- receiving and giving.