1. Lead with Gratitude. Always. Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It opens us up to wonder, delight, and humility. When gratitude leads, cherished memories, unbreakable relationships, inherent joy, and miracles follow.
2. Know where you aren't willing to compromise. This is something I return to endlessly. Throughout my battles and challenges, I have been obstinate regarding some key things:
- I will not take narcotics, opioids, psychotropics. I long ago decided that I would not risk starting anything that could create dependency. While I sometimes have no choice in the hospital or other critical times, I do not have any of these prescribed, will not continue with a med that is not working, and will not take any substance longer than necessary. My medical team and husband are aware of this and make decisions respectfully.
- I move every single day: MS is a disease that wants to see me stop. Pain is a part of my daily living. Every day, I must move. I must push. It's tough for my husband to see me at my weakest, he is eager to step in- and I love him dearly for it. When I know I can go and do, albeit with pain, sloth like movements, and the use of walls, tables, furniture, I go to the bathroom, use my phone and computer, get out of bed and into chairs, get downstairs, clean what I'm able to, write as much as possible.
3. DO. NOT. ISOLATE. My history is to isolate myself when I am hurting, depressed, feeling self pity, overwhelmed, or experiencing diminished capacities. I am surrounded by people who love me deeply and unconditionally, and it's been difficult for me to accept that I am not a burden to them. Rather than isolating and going it alone, I allow them to help me when they see me struggling, express my gratitude regularly for who they are.
4. Be the teacher. By overcoming isolation, I also learned how to teach and guide those closest to help me in things that make me feel more me, more human, and include them on things I love doing.
- my beauty routine
- art projects
- home renovations
- walking with my devices (below with my walking crutches)
5. Be the student. Life is a beautiful journey filled with adventures. When I learn what my friends and family love, I melt away. Often I'm so wrapped up in learning about them, what they are doing, why, that all my burdens subside. Not only am I building worth into others, I'm seeking newness, allowing adventure to happen, and believing in all the things greater than me being.
6. Surrender. I'm a God girl through and through. Maybe God isn't your thing, and I respect that- but find your higher power, spirituality, the small still voice- and let go. Allow yourself the relief of relinquishing control. Understanding that I wasn't owed an answer to "WHY" has been a giant freedom. I'm not always going to understand, be able to rationalize, or make sense of everything was a hard pill to swallow, made easier when I relaxed and remembered to breathe. (Because I sometimes forget, my husband bought me this reminder)
7. Cling tight to what brings joy shamelessly! Mine:
- perfume- scents drive me, calm me, invigorate, and remind me.
- makeup- I'm a nut for feeling "dressed up" by doing my makeup
- fashion- I adore and applaud the art of fashion. My body has changed, but shoes and clothes are still necessary, and indulging in my unique style is more fun than ever. A great friend of mine once called me a "high class hippy", and it stuck.
- cooking- this has been difficult to maintain, so I learned new tools and techniques, taught my husband, involved my boys. Not only does it heal my body, it brings us all closer- win/win.
- exercise- while I can't go at the pace and vigor I once had, I still rejoice in what I CAN do and the benefits are never ending
8. Release the toxic. That thing that you are not willing to let go of is exactly why you should. Wine. The toughest choice I had to make was giving it up, so I knew I had to. I love it still, but it's not good for my body that has become severely allergic to it. Being honest about this was not easily accomplished, but valuing my health, mind, body, goals, and search for greater things meant more. I have a few exceptions- annual wine trails my husband and I cherish, our anniversary (which happens to be New Year's), celebrations of loved ones. This allows me deeper appreciation of folks, stronger memories, a more sustained vibrancy, and fewer MS glitches.
9. Never stop looking forward and setting goals. Previous goals I set are no longer feasible, realistic, or even healthy; new ones, though, are motivating and invigorating. Goals are beneficial our entirety:
- motivation
- finances
- togetherness
- serving
- purpose
- passion
- mental/emotional/physical/spiritual health
- having peace
10. Celebrate!! Life is full of things, big and small, to rejoice in and celebrate- and it's of upmost importance. As a God girl, I remain awestruck at God's call to embrace celebrations. Over and over again He shows us celebrations of all kinds, all sizes, all manners, for all people. What an honor and gift.
11. Share your story. Everything we experience, endure, overcome, and love is beneficial to others. We are made to share life with others- vulnerably, deeply, emphatically, compassionately. Our journey is unique, with excessive value.
12. Take care of you so you're able to take care of others. The desire, ability, and need to give back is crucial to our being. We cannot give what we don't have. When you decide to take care of yourself, you recognize the vital first step to all things great.
13. Love. It's a verb. Love does. Go do, go be. Love wholly, emphatically, without abandon, passionately, totally, recklessly. Let love in. Let love make, break, change, guide, lead, show, grow, develop, move, and define you.
Everything you've always wanted is on the other side of fear. Go seek and be you. You are a gift, a joy, a delight.
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